Baby Lawyer, Saw Dust Brain And A Valedictory Charge… By Agba Jalingo

In Breaking News, Opinion

Apologies to Dr. Reuben Abati, for borrowing his famous phrase, “sawdust brain.” But Abati is always a delight to watch or read, so much so, a delight to quote. But what is sawdust? Sawdust is the tiny particles of wood that are formed from sawing or sanding wood. Now you know!

Most neuroscientists in the world today have agreed with their colleague, Suzana Herculano-Houzel, that the human brain contains 86 billion nerve cells. That’s quite a number. When that huge number of vital human components are replaced with particles of dust, what is to be expected must be disastrous.

One must be bellied in legendary tomfoolery and perfumed in geometric imbecility to deserve a skull full of flying dust. That is the specific case of Baby Lawyer. And one of the peculiar departments of carriers of sawdust brain cells is not just that they are incapable of writing any examination for themselves, but they also don’t discern when they are hurting themselves. They cannot see when they are using their own hands to destroy themselves. They are incorrigible on this path.

Because, if not for a sawdust brain, why won’t you know that the farther the news of my incarceration travels, even farther does the fact that you hired a mercenary to write your exams travels?

It’s not their fault, it’s because the living cells in their skulls that are supposed to coordinate thinking and decision-making have been supplanted with flying sawdust. When that happens to anyone, what they actually deserve is pity.

I repeat for the umpteenth time that, Baby lawyer hired a mercenary to write her examination for her and I have an opportunity to prove that in court now. She knows in her heart that what I am saying is true and she is running helter-skelter, trying in futility to cover her tracks.

Even in UNICAL Law Faculty where she passed out, she didn’t write most of her exams. She hired people to write and paid her way through some. She also knows that I am not lying about that too. And this is an annual exam that even her small niece and nephews have written and become lawyers. Verily, it is wise counsel that those who have poo in their anus should refrain from bending in public. Failing to grasp this playground wisdom is part of the symptoms of a sawdust brain.

It is also part of the sawdust brain symptom for anyone to think that locking yours sincerely up will restrain me. Exactly how will that happen? It rather makes matters worse, particularly when I am convinced about my facts. It’s a difficult task to bully or intimidate me when I am convinced that I am right. Very difficult.

We will return to court on May 31, 2023, to begin my trial. That will be two days after they have exited power. I can’t wait to commence the process of returning that borrowed wig and gown to the shelf it rightly belongs. God willing, it shall be done.

We have been through this before and it lasted three years and I was vindicated. We will go through it again. I have no idea how long this one will last but it may not be the last one from them. They still have 55 days. They still have all the security people at their whims for that long. They can still bundle me up and pay their regular hatchet security agents to draft whatever pleases them and still try a valedictory charge as if I care. God is always standing with truth and I won’t be afraid of criminals who themselves should be in jail.

It’s only 55 days to the end of the scepter with which they trouble my peace, without which their pursuit will be voided. The reign of the villainous household shall come to an expected end and the rising of a new regency will mushroom.

Citizen Agba Jalingo is the Publisher of CrossRiverWatch and a rights activist, a Cross Riverian, and writes from Lagos.

NB: Opinions expressed in this article are strictly attributable to the author, Agba Jalingo, and do not represent the opinion of CrossRiverWatch or any other organization the author works for/with.

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