Family In The Church
I was shocked at last week’s response from my readers, It’s amazing how we take things for granted. I couldn’t believe how many people wrote telling me about their experiences and particularly in the place where they were supposed to feel the safest. Today it’s the Church.
Mrs. Chuks (real name withheld), wrote to me with a story of how her marriage was torn apart by her most trusted marriage counsellor in church. Some of us find solace in church, believing that is the safest haven on earth.
Your pains and sufferings for you should end once you step into a church and believe me, I’m with you on that but with the stories I get it’s worse than being outside the church.
When you talk about relationships, particularly the agape ones, you think of the church. It’s widely believed in this part of the world that, the church is a family. A place where the fatherless find fathers, the motherless find mothers and the childless find children.
When these things fall into place for you, you refer to your church as “my church, my family” but a situation where like I said earlier, Mrs. Chuks who felt her church was her family too and a member of this family stabbed her what will she do?
Here’s her story. I met my hubby when I started going to this church. He was the choir director and the first time I saw him, I immediately was attracted to him. About three months later, fate smiled on me and I joined the choir after completing the membership and workers classes.
I immediately struck a relationship with him as per he was my director. We found out we were attracted to each other even though I was aware of his other illicit affairs with a handful of some other members of the choir.
He was a very handsome man and so I expected it. After about a year into the relationship, he proposed and I was ecstatic. Somewhere in between, I got to know of his relationship with a sister who worked with the marriage counselling unit but he denied it and even introduced her to me to assist me in the preparations for our wedding.
She and I became very close and I started confiding in her, seeing her as a part of our family. After the wedding, we became even closer and when I had problem and suspicions about my hubby dating other women, it was she I spoke to about it. She would counsel me and dispel any doubts I had.
This continued for about 2yrs and after a while I found out I was pregnant. With excitement, I called this sister to inform her and her reaction shocked me. She asked if we were financially ready for a baby and would advice I do away with the baby for now because she was sure my husband would not be happy about it. I reacted instantly and asked if she was in her right senses but she quickly told me I misunderstood her.
To cut the story short, I told my hubby and he was very happy about it. I had a baby boy and I forgave her outburst and our lives continued. Five years into the marriage and baby no. 2 on the way, I had gone to work but my hubby was home because he had been ill over the weekend and so decided to stay home.
After a while in the office, I started feeling ill and decided to leave taking a cab since I didn’t feel up to driving home. On getting home, my gateman told me sister was around so excitedly I walked in without my usual loud greeting to my neighbours upstairs, noticed her bag in the sitting room but did not see her. I quickly assumed she was in the kitchen since she had free access in my home. I went into drop my bag and change and came face to face with my husband in bed with this very sister.
As it stands now, I’m out of my home even after reporting to the church and my husband is threatening that nothing can stop them because she is pregnant for him. Tell me, how do I trust the family I call Church???? Nothing has been done and yet they still call you family.
I am blank and don’t know where to start giving advice. Family, they say isn’t by blood only but by loyalty too. Trust plays a major part in every family and when this is shattered, it’s difficult to piece back together.
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Have a blessed week ahead and remember to stay safe.
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