The Governor met with the workers at the UJ Esuene stadium Calabar Wednesday and every word from number 1 to 12 below, is what the Governor told the workers verbatim.
It was only broken into numbers for ease of reading and analysis. My own analysis of the Governor’s remarks are under each number, in bracket.
1. “In the name of God that I serve, I don’t know the day that this recruitment was done, nobody wrote to the Governor.”
(I have learnt long ago that those who begin with swearing in God’s name are usually the most dishonest. Governor Ayade is a Christian, even the Bible says we should not swear. Our yea should be yea and our nay should be nay sir.)
2. “I earn an income that is less than the salary of this State.”
(Sir! You earn an income? Or the State earns an income? Or is it not our State allocation you were referring to? You see, that is the problem. You see our State like your personal property. Within your fellow Governors, this statement is appropriate but when talking to us next time, use the right language Sir. Or maybe we shouldn’t expect less from you because out of the abundance of your heart, your mouth speaketh.)
3. “Today (Wednesday) is end of the month and I still go to bed, I know no sleep, looking for how I can pay September salary.”
(You used to pay in advance and earned the title of most workers friendly Governor from NLC, what happened Sir? You know no sleep? A whole you? Where is the Intellectual Money IM, the Green Money GMoney, Other Peoples Money, OPM, that you promised to mint?)
4. “Then without my knowledge an additional 2000 people unto the payroll without being told, I can’t believe this is happening.”
(Now you know! Now you believe it is happening! What have you done Sir? Yes! What have you done?)
5. “If I was a normal governor, all those people involved in the recruitment process should be dismissed from the civil service.”
(So you agree that you are not NORMAL sir? When we say it, you usually get angry. You are actually not normal. A normal Governor will not tolerate criminality and condone lawlessness and celebrate it as it has become customary in your Government. A normal governor will not openly tell his subordinates that you can commit crimes and I will not punish you because I am not a normal Governor. Thank you for accepting that you are not normal Sir. We have known this for a long time now.)
6. “Meanwhile as you all know, what I earn in a month cannot pay salaries, yet you have street light, yet you have water to be distributed, yet you have security challenges, armed robbery, banditry, kidnapping – one man have to deal with.”
(It’s true Sir, we know that in the part of Calabar where you visit from Abuja as it were, and where your long convoy traverses, the street lights are working and water dare not stop flowing anywhere you are. We know! What we don’t understand is how dealing with all these challenges you listed became the task of ONE MAN alone, like you said. I thought you have the highest number of appointees in Nigeria? Are you allowing them to function or you have made yourself a one man Government?)
7. “On the same one person you are talking about roads, you are talking about industries, you are talking about factories from an income that is not equivalent to salary.”
(But sir, we have been telling you siiiiince, to cut your coat according to your cloth; that the earning of our State can barely pay salaries, but you have refused to listen. You want to do one million things at a time. Why are you now complaining?)
8. “Today, I have 2500 people to add onto the salary I cannot pay.”
(Please go ahead and do that Sir! You promised thousands of jobs, weren’t you planning to pay them?)
9. “I can’t wait for 2023 to come so that I can take a bow.”
(We your people are more eager to escort you away Sir. The remaining 967 days seem long sef!)
10. “My administration is focused on the people and not on planting of grasses or fixing potholes.”
(Oga, you take style yab your two predecessors here sha. But make I know put mouth.)
11. “No benefit building gigantic projects when Cross Riverians go to bed hungry.”
(Wake up from sleep Sir! You just described yourself up there. Your projects will end up being the most gigantic and we are hungry.)
12. “The choice before the sacked workers is simple, accept a new job offer now or insist on the payment of their arrears.”
(Labourers are worthy of their arrears and their wages Sir.)
Na so I see am o.
Citizen Agba Jalingo.
Agba Jalingo is the Editor-In-Chief of CrossRiverWatch and writes from Lagos State.
NB: Opinions expressed in this article are solely attributable to the author, Agba Jalingo and do not in anyway represent the opinion of CrossRiverWatch or any other organization the author works for/with.
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